A Few Things I've Learned Since Moving to Seattle

I have now been living in Seattle for a little over three weeks now. It's already been one hell of an experience and I really look forward to what is in store for me in the weeks to come. But I figured it would be fun to make a list of some of the things I've learned thus far in my walks around the city and hours spent trying to get my computer to connect to the library wifi.

So here goes nothing:

1) Always wear boots.

I guess this should be obvious, but I'm the kind of girl who likes my shoes to slip on an off. Call me a hobbit, but I don't like wearing shoes if it can be avoided and therefore resent the time spent lacing and unlacing them, not to mention the fact that I don't like tracking whatever might be clinging to them into the house.
However, I have quickly learned that my canvas shoes just will not do when you can expect it to rain at least once a day. It only took me two times of walking home in my own personal puddles to convince me that my canvas shoes will have to be retired to trips downstairs to get my mail or do laundry.

2) Walks are fun!

Exercise is generally not my thing, even if it's just taking a walk. I prefer to spend my free time reading and, back home, taking a walk meant walking uphill to see another boring set of houses in the suburbs. Every walk in Seattle is an adventure, at least to me. I find new things every day and love learning the layout of my neighborhood and the city as a whole.

3) When using revolving doors, keep it one person to a compartment unless you know the other person.

Okay, that should be common sense, but it is something I learned and it was a mortifying three seconds of my life. Chances are, the revolving door compartments are too small for more than one person to fit in comfortably. When in doubt, wait for it to revolve. If you, like me, find yourself in a too small revolving door compartment, stay as close to the back part of it as possible and just do your best not to let the other person realize you're behind them. Also, don't step on their shoes.

4) Wifi is essential.

I tried not to get it. I didn't want to pay for something I could get for free at the library a few blocks away. I wanted to wait at least until I paid my first rent check and all the other bills that are going to come along with it at the end of the month. However, I quickly realized how essential wifi is to my daily life. When the wifi at the library decided it wasn't too fond of my Mac, I gave in pretty quickly. It was either that, or pay $6 a day to get a coffee and mooch off the Starbucks wifi for a few hours.

5) Only tourists use umbrellas.

This sounds like a dumb generalization or pointless cultural standard when you first move here. After all, Seattle is known for being inherently rainy. However, the longer you stay here, the more you realize just why most locals wear hoods instead of carrying umbrellas: the wind.
It's pretty windy over here, especially since we're right off the water. Carrying an umbrella means battling with a stringless kite or having the umbrella turn inside out and make sure you get just as wet as if you weren't carrying one in the first place. Ditch it and deal with the rain. You'll be just as wet without expending unreasonable effort.

These weren't in any particular order and probably aren't very insightful, but they're just a bit of what I learned . . . that and the fact that the vending machine downstairs only takes nickels and quarters for some incomprehensible reason. I figured it wouldn't hurt to share it with you.

Who knows what I'll find out next.

Thank God for Excedrin

I figured I needed photographic proof
that I willingly got on a ferry. (Not
that you can really tell I'm on one.)

It's official. I've moved and am currently residing in Seattle, WA.
*does happy dance*
I'm still shocked that this is real life. I mean, I'm sitting in the Central Library, typing away at one in a hundred computers provided for everyone, hundreds of miles from nearly everyone I know and love.
It's wonderful.
I don't know about you, but the fact that I'm a new and unknown face in a big city is so freeing that I can hardly stand it. Of course, I'm still scared and worried about finding a job, but I've made it this far and I know I can make it the rest of the way as well.

So, for those of you who are wondering, I still have quite a few things to take care of. I can barely see the floor in my new apartment for everything that's still lying on the floor. When I left this morning, my cat was sitting on a half-made dresser I gave up on last night when I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.
Today, I drove an hour away to find a place where I could park my car semi-permanently without paying an arm and a leg. To get home, I had to hitch a ride with the owner of the rental space and then take a bus and two ferries to get back to downtown. If you know anything about me, you know I hate boats and tend to avoid any kind of deep water at all costs. Still, I managed it and survived, though I did have to stop by the drugstore on my walk home after acquiring a head-splitting headache. Thank God for Excedrin.

I'm still searching for a job and definitely feeling the pressure about getting one soon, but it's a load off my shoulders to have a place where I can park my car that isn't timed. I mean, getting up at 6am, throwing on a hoodie and jeans, and running to the car lot where I parked it the night before just to pay for a few more hours would've gotten old really fast. I was sick of it as soon as that alarm went off this morning.
Now I just need to find that job that will stem the flow of cash trickling out of my savings account, get a Washington State driver's license, order some checks, and figure out where the hell the dumpster for my apartment is. Oh, and I should probably finish assembling my dresser before I alphabetize the rest of my bookshelf.

I have a lot to do in the near future, but I look forward to seeing what Seattle life has in store for me.

I'm Moving!!

The best picture I managed to take of the Space Needle!

I know it's been a right age since I've written anything on this blog. I'm not exactly the best at keeping up with the twenty-thousand things I do on the internet (especially when it comes to writing: my passion and my bane).

Curled up in a chair at my parents' apartment in Paris, I am forcing myself to actually sit down and write this partially because I miss doing this, partially because Mom hasn't woken up yet to go to the bookstore with me, and partially because I've been too stressed in the last few days to do anything but think about this move . . . so I might as well get something productive accomplished from it. 

So here's the big news: I'm moving to Seattle. 

The first question I get every time I tell someone this bright bit of information is: "Why Seattle?"

It's a fair question, but one I find a bit difficult to answer. It's a lot of little things combined, I suppose. I've grown tired of living on the outskirts of Dallas and it was time to get out of my parents' home (even if I was the only one in it, seeing as they live overseas). I wanted to move to a big city and have a bit of a fresh start in a new place. 

Seattle seemed like the right place for a plethora of reasons. I've always liked the idea of Seattle. It's the coffee capital of the nation and known for it's quirkiness and love of art/artistic expression. It's rainy, but I've always loved the rain more than the sun. It's a new place, far away from the old, where I can decide for myself where to go from here.

I should also mention that it is the #1 most literate city in the world. If you know me, you know that's ridiculously cool. I mean, we are talking about a girl who is both an aspiring writer and librarian here.

The second question I normally receive is: "So who lives in Seattle?" Meaning, who do I know in Seattle?

The answer to this one is much easier. I know no one. I'm not moving up there to be with anyone, nor do I need someone else to go with me in order to make it. I know that people have the best intentions when it comes to this question, but I want to make it clear that I can do this on my own. Of course I've received helped from my family and my friends, but this is my adventure to take and no one should ever let fear of doing something alone keep them from doing that thing which they desire. This is your life; live it.

Lastly, people generally end their inquiries not with a question, but with a comment: "Wow, that's really brave of you. I would be too scared."

Let's get one thing straight here: I am scared shitless. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I have spent the last few days having a near heart attack because now that I've gotten my apartment pegged down, this is real. (Not to mention, I am literally going to have 2.5 days to pack and say goodbye to everyone because I can't come home early from visiting my parents.)

I struggle with anxiety on a daily basis. It's a constant staple in my thought process and therefore definitely a big part of my life. One thing it has taught me, though, is that fear of a thing shouldn't always keep you from taking part in it. I have a long way to go in overcoming my personal anxiety, but I sure as hell don't want it to keep me from living my life. Therefore, I have to make the conscious effort to subvert it.

This, of course, doesn't mean that my anxiety about the move won't keep me up at night of put me on the verge of panic attacks (if you've never experienced one of these, count yourself lucky).

Let's also keep in mind that I'm predisposed to at least be a little more well-versed in something as big as this. After all, I've moved away from everyone I know more than once. And let's not forget just how many schools I transferred to and from. I still get asked if I was in the Witness Protection Program when I tell people my school history. It's one big, jumbled mess.

I guess the point in that is that I don't find myself particularly brave. I'm just unwilling to stay where I am out of fear. I'm filled with wanderlust and a need to explore that, for now, outweighs the terror of being the new girl once again.

And if I have to move back or decide Seattle isn't for me after my year's lease is up? Well, then that's how the cookie crumbles. I won't view it as a failure, but as an adventure and a risk I'll be glad I took. I'd rather know I tried than forever regret being to afraid to go.

Well, if all else fails, at least I'll still have my cat. She's coming with me at least. ;)

Feminist And Proud!

I used to be one of those women who claimed that I was not a feminist. It used to drive my deeply feminist best friend up a wall.

"Do you believe that women should have the right to vote?" she would ask me.
"Yes"

"Do you think that women and men should be paid the same for doing the same job?"
"Of course."

"Do you believe that women are any less important than men?"
"No."

"You're a feminist."

Yet I would still go on claiming that I was most definitely not a feminist and that feminism was just this grasping attempt for certain militant women to do their best to overrun all the males in the country.

Then I had some sense knocked into me. I'm not really sure what convinced me that I'm a feminist. It was probably the combined efforts of my best friend and how much time I spend reading and, therefore, coming across literature that explains the things I don't really understand. (Also, Youtube. There are some pretty kick-ass feminists on there that have helped me straighten out a thing or two in the way I think. ie. Laci Green, HayleyGHoover, etc.)

If you look up "feminism" in the dictionary, this is what you'll find:

It is "the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, societal, and economic equality to men."

It's not trying to be better than men. It's not trying to dominate the world, become lesbians, and burn our bras. (I happen to like my bras. I don't intend to get rid of them while they still have use to me.) It's about being treated like we are also human. Feminism is about being respected as fellow human beings, and not as objects. 

This is why I'm so confused when I meet someone who claims they're not a feminist. Or, at least, I would be confused if I hadn't gone through the same thing a few years ago. The problem we're facing here can be narrowed down to this:

People haven't been educated in what it means to be a feminist. The things that they have been told are wrong and it's extremely difficult to refute the things that are so fully ingrained in our minds from birth.

It's strange and sad to me when I have conversations with other women about women's rights or dealing with a particular misogynistic asshole who has shown his deep disrespect for women very clear. These women are always on the same page all the way until I drop the word "feminist." It's like I've just called them a terrorist!

"That's not even feminism! That's just respecting women!" they tell me. Or, "Actually, I'm not a feminist, but I agree with everything else you said."

And when I explain that women's rights/respecting women as equal humans IS WHAT FEMINISM IS ALL ABOUT, I get that blank expression that tells me they're not even really sure what I'm talking about anymore. I just have to shrug and walk away, hoping that seed I just left will take root and they'll eventually look back and say, "Oh! That's what she was talking about!"

I'm a feminist and I'm proud to call myself that. Feminism isn't a dirty word. It isn't an insult. In fact, it ought to be a compliment. It means I'm not afraid to state that I will fight for the rights of women. It means I respect my own gender as well as the opposite sex. And there's nothing wrong with that.

A Love Letter to My Hair

Dear Hair,

 I know we've had our issues in the past. We've had great times and bad times. We've had nail-biting waits where you were covered in foil or simply waiting atop my head to be revealed in an entirely new way. Whether you were soon to be black, blonde, red, or purple, we've always stuck together, doing our best to help each other along the way.

Remember that time we left the bleach on you for too long? You came out beautiful but so weak and almost gummy in places. Or the time we had to spend two weeks with that awful reddish brown color after the hairstylist stripped the black? We've come a
long way since then, haven't we? I know you still have some healing to do, but I'm glad we held on through that. I did my best to nurse you back to health, and now look at how far you've come!

We've always had a mutual love for hair dye and that's probably one of my favorite things about our relationship. That . . . and the fact that I cut and style you. It's the best way that we can mutually express ourselves and it makes me
giddy from head to toe! (Or root to tip, in your case.)

I hope our relationship always stays this fun and exciting . . . where neither of us ever know what color or cut we'll shoot for next. I'm sure we'll continue to have our close calls and even our fights (I know you don't like the straightener, but we have to have some compromises), but I know we'll always come out on top together.

I love you,

Kirsten Erin

Feeling Restless

There's so much to do and so little time.

The above phrase is one that I've heard repeated over and over my entire life. Why does it always feel like we're quickly running out of time? It's like I constantly feel like I'm racing the clock to accomplish everything.

It's odd. Especially since I find myself wasting time more often than I care to admit. There are so many things I want to do; so many things I want to accomplish. But I seem to just get overwhelmed with the vastness of it all and shrink back, allowing my procrastination to rear its ugly head as I go back to Facebook or spend three hours on Pinterest.

It's time for me to start learning to manage my free time more efficiently. Working forty hours a week has somehow managed to make me lazy the rest of the time. I use up all my energy at work and then come home and succumb to the exhaustion. I can't keep doing that if I ever want to stop needing a day job.

I need to start learning how to utilize the time I have while I am still free enough to do so. Now I just have to figure out how.

Stifled

My dad was home for the weekend, which was awesome. I rarely get to see him and it's always a treat when he comes to town.

While the two of us were driving to see a movie yesterday, we somehow managed to get on the topic of my future. Right now, I'm living in their home (in America) while they're overseas (in France). My aunt (Mom's baby sister) and uncle recently moved in since they don't have anywhere else to stay and she's pregnant with her first baby (Hank!). I work as the Assistant Store Manager and a video store not far from my home.

To be honest, I hate it here. I feel stifled where I live, like I'm constantly on the verge of a panic attack. The suburbs have never been the place for me and I'm pretty sure they never will be. I love my job and I love my friends, but I'm ready to be out of here. Yet it seems like my plans keep getting pushed back.

Or maybe I'm just too scared to make the leap . . .

Anyway, I was venting about all of this when my dad brought up a way I could move a bit sooner. He was telling me that if I could find some way to further my writing career in Seattle (the city to which I'm wanting to move), if I could convince him that this would be a viable option that would actually help me make progress on that writing career, he would figure a way to set me up so that he could help me live there and be able to eat without working my ass off 24/7.

Of course, he's basically referring to college. Though he was talking about the possibility of a trade school, or something of that nature, that would strictly teach writing instead of requiring the student to take all of the other pointless classes that they will probably never use. *cough* Maths. *cough*

It's tempting. It's sorely tempting. Right now, I feel like I would do anything to get out of here and feel like I'm actually doing something: moving toward my future. I spent a good portion of my free time today looking for something like what he said. I found one or two promising universities, but those are so expensive and I've been so certain up to this point that I don't need college and I don't want to waste my (and/or my parents' money) on something I'm not absolutely certain I need for the future I desire.

It's not that I have anything against going to college. I think that, for a lot of people, it is the right choice. But I also think that not everyone has the same path and, for some, that means choosing not to go to college. I thought that was the path I was going to choose.

Then again, how are you supposed to know which way to choose? I mean, that's a pretty big decision there. How can I know whether my initial choice was the best or if I ought to change my mind before it's too late? I mean, I could always use more training in the skill I enjoy so dearly. I'm sure there's plenty to learn, but I'm also sure I don't want to get in debt of any kind.

As you can see, I've been having quite the inner dilemma. I don't do well with these sorts of issues. Thankfully, I managed to quell the panic attack that was on the verge of breaking loose tonight, though the nausea is still present. I don't really know how to explain my emotions on this any better than that. I mean, it's probably not a good idea to get me started on my social anxiety and all the things that crop up when I think of having to attend classes again (of course, this contributes to why moving is scary for me anyway, though my desire to get out of here is greater than my discomfort at the very idea of social interaction).

I hope I don't sound whiney, or worse, like a sociopath, but these are my general thoughts on my current situation and the decisions I feel like I need to make. I'm terrified and hopeful and entirely conflicted.

I just hope that, in all of that, I'll be able to figure out what is best for me, regardless of the other factors that play into the making of this decision. Writing this out helped, as writing out my emotions generally does, even if it hasn't quite led me to a solution.